As I get older, I try really hard not to become a geezer. I don't want to be some cranky old man who thinks the world is going to hell in a hand basket and that we need to go back to the "good old days."
The good old days were never that great, anyway. I can't imagine life without Velcro, email or air conditioning.
But one thing that I have noticed (and this has nothing to do with being old or cranky) is that many of the young children I come in contact with now are, to put it as politely as possible, spoiled-rotten-whiney-brats!
This is a serious problem. Spoiled, whiney, self-centered children will grow up to become irresponsible, selfish, useless adults. Just what the country needs; more unproductive citizens sucking the lifeblood from our culture!
This is not really the child's fault. Every child is a product of the environment and training techniques of the parents. When I see a spoiled brat, I also see a set of parents who have failed in their responsibilities to that child. This is tragic, because we all suffer for the failures of the parents.
A spoiled child is doomed to an unhappy life. That child will grow up to be selfish and immature. He will be in trouble in school, on the job, and oftentimes with the law when he grows up. He will spend his life expecting the world to cater to his every whim the same way that mom and dad used to. Mom and dad might bend over backwards to keep little junior from being displeased, but I can guarantee that the rest of the world will not treat him like that.
You can discipline your child now, or you can wait 20 years and let the warden do it for you.
So, mom and dad, let's toughen up and act like adults. You are supposed to be in charge of that child you created. You are supposed to be teaching that child the difference between right and wrong. You are supposed to be teaching that child that, although he is special and cherished by you, he is not the center of the universe, and that the needs of other people are at least as important as his own.
He needs to learn to respect your authority, or he will never respect the authority of his teachers, bosses, or law enforcement officers. He needs to learn to work for the things he desires, instead of having everything given to him without effort, or he will become a leech on society and grow up to believe that the world owes him something.
And when he challenges your authority, either through direct disobedience or a disrespectful attitude, he needs to be spanked!
Yes, I said spanked! Not beaten, not abused, just good-old-fashioned spanked. I hope no one has fainted at this radical and barbaric suggestion, but it is a time-honored and effective method of getting a rebellious child's attention.
Spanking, of course, works best on younger children who are not old enough to be reasoned with. School-aged children are more effectively disciplined by grounding, denial of privileges and other punishments that take away something they will miss. Use some common sense and make the punishment age-appropriate. What is most important is that the discipline is reasonable and consistent.
Spanking is so important precisely because it is the most effective discipline for children from the ages of 1 through 6 years of age, and this is when life-long attitudes and behavior patterns are established. If your child has not learned to obey and respect you by age 6, you are in deep doo-doo as a parent.
If you are currently raising a brat, you have no one to blame but yourself for the misery you will endure. If that child will not submit to your authority now, wait until he is 15 and your life truly becomes a living hell. We all reap what we sow, and if you neglect your duties as a parent now, you will pay for it for the rest of your life!
OK, mom and dad, let's walk through a little training exercise.
Let's imagine that you have told little junior to make up his bed before he goes outside to play. Junior promptly runs out the door and says he'll do it later. Being the nice guy that I am, I would even give junior a second chance and sternly say, "Junior, get back in there and make that bed or you won't play outside at all!"
Now if you've been spoiling your brat for a long time, he is probably conditioned to throw a tantrum at this point and say, "I don't want to make my bed now, I want to play!" This is now the perfect time to apply the aforementioned discipline. Grab junior firmly by the arm and escort him into the bedroom where you can sit down on the edge of his unmade bed and drape him, belly down, across your lap. Lay one arm across his shoulders to hold him in position. With your other arm, using your open hand, apply three or four firm swats to his fleshy posterior (some call it a butt) and make sure you smack hard enough to cause moderate discomfort.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: Always limit spanking to the butt. God has wisely designed this fleshy cushioned area of the body for spanking purposes. You can obtain the desired painful stinging discomfort of discipline without doing any real physical damage to the child. DO NOT spank the legs, back or shoulders, or you may really physically hurt a child, and that is something you never want to do. Especially avoid slapping around the face or neck, this can be dangerous.)
Now you turn junior loose, inform him that you want that bed made NOW, and that you will be in to talk to him when he is finished. If he balks at this, repeat the spanking procedure and add an extra swat or two for good measure. I assure you that he will soon comply with your desires and make that bed.
Now he may be mad at you. He may even say he hates you and you are a mean parent. You cannot let this bother you. You are the adult. You are responsible for teaching this child how to mind, and sometimes being a real parent can get real ugly. Toughen up! You will survive, and you will prevail if you don't give in to his manipulations.
After junior has been punished, and after he has complied with your instructions, you should allow a short cooling off period (for both of you) and then go in and talk to him about why he was disciplined and how he can avoid being disciplined in the future. This is the time to hug him, assure him of your love, and make him understand that God has given you the job of teaching him how to mind, and that you have to spank him if he is being disobedient. Explain to him that you spank him because you love him and you want him to learn to do the right thing.
This may sound old-fashioned and corny, but I guarantee that it will work if it is applied consistently. I have raised my children, and helped to raise many other children, and I have never met a child who did not understand the connection between love and discipline when I took the time to explain it to them.
The greatest benefit to this kind of consistent discipline is that once it is established, you very seldom have to actually use it. It may take three or four repetitions before it fully sinks in, but once junior realizes he really has to make his bed, he will begin to do it without a fuss. Once your children know that you mean business, they start to behave better, and the instances that require spankings become less and less frequent.
I think I can honestly count the lifetime total of spankings I have given my children on both hands. But because I started when they were young, and because I was consistent and they knew I would do it whenever necessary, I seldom had to resort to it. The kids learned to behave to avoid being punished, and as a result, all of us were happier.
Every child we care for in our home loves coming to visit us. They know that they have to behave here, and many of them behave better for us than they do for their own parents, because they know that we will enforce our rules with discipline if they misbehave. They also know that we love them, and they are very loving and affectionate towards us, because they understand that our discipline here is done in a spirit of love.
So be an adult. Fulfill your God-given responsibility and teach that child to respect your authority. Act like a parent instead of a wimp. Your life will be better. Your child's future will be brighter. The rest of us in society will benefit by having another mature, responsible citizen growing up in our culture.
Do you love your child?
Then discipline your child. For all of our sakes.
