Finding a Home for James

Five-year-old James had come to live with the Paxton family nearly five months ago.

Though Steve and Jenny Paxton already had five children in their family, they decided, after much prayer, to make room for one more.

Steve's sister Barbara was a foster parent, and James had been placed with her after the Department of Child Services (DCS) had rescued him from a neglectful mother. It was the usual sad story, so familiar to workers in the child care field: mom liked to party, constantly moved in and out of various boyfriends' apartments, wouldn't get a job, wouldn't stay home, wouldn't take care of her children.

For all practical purposes, little James had been raised by his older sister Brenda, but she was almost 18 now, and was about to finish high school. She wasn't in a position to properly care for her brother, and DCS wanted to place James in a permanent adoptive home.

Barbara, his foster mom, loved the little boy, and she worked hard to make him feel at home. But she was a widowed grandmother, and she had some health issues that kept her from being the ideal candidate for a permanent adoptive placement.

So it was that Barbara had the idea of introducing James to her youngest brother Steve and his wife Jenny. Barbara never mentioned to Steve and Jenny that she thought they would be the perfect parents for James, but she made sure to invite the Paxtons and their kids over for regular cookouts and pool parties, and she was not surprised at all when James became friends with their youngest son, 7-year-old Brandon.

Actually, it was Jenny who first spoke of the possibility of adopting James. One evening during a cookout/sleepover, with the youngest kids put to bed, and the older kids playing Euchre in the family room, the adults were settled down with some cold drinks on the back porch. Jenny looked at Barbara and asked how things were going with finding a home for James.

"Nothing on the horizon yet," Barbara replied. "There are a lot more kids around than there are adoptive homes."

Jenny spoke softly, "I wonder if he would like to live with us. Look how well he gets along with the kids, especially Brandon. They are practically inseparable."

Steve arched an eyebrow as he glanced sideways at his wife. "Am I allowed into this conversation? Are you telling me five kids aren't enough to keep you busy?"

Jenny just smiled at him and said, "You know you love that little boy just as much as I do."

So it was on that night, ten months ago, that Steve and Jenny made the decision to contact the family services agency and begin the long process of adopting James. It was an emotional roller coaster for Jenny. Her world suddenly became a whirl of adoption agency visits, background checks, interviews, home inspections and adoptive parent classes.

At times she wondered if they had gotten in over their heads. What if James didn't really bond with them? What if he became a disruption to the rest of the family? The adoption classes were sobering exercises, since the instructor took the parents through all sorts of case studies and prepared them for a variety of unpleasant contingencies.

She learned that adopted children often arrive with a lot of emotional baggage, especially if they have been neglected or abused by their mothers at a young age. James' therapist had informed the Paxtons early on that James suffered to some degree from Reactive Attachment Disorder, and would likely have difficulty establishing close relationships with others, since he had never had an opportunity to bond with anyone as an infant.

James was also known to have abrupt angry outbursts, and his kindergarten teacher wanted him to be tested for ADHD, thinking that might explain why he was sometimes so disruptive in class.

"Oh God," Jenny prayed every night, "Help me do the right thing here."

It had been five months now since James had moved in. He was living in the Paxton home on a six-month trial placement. If all went well, he could be legally adopted at the end of that time.

Jenny's heart ached for the little guy as she watched him struggle to acclimate himself to their household routine. It was quite an adjustment for James, moving from Barbara's home, where he was the only child, to the Paxton house that hummed with the bustling about of five older children.

Jenny was thrilled to observe that James had bonded right away with her husband. James had never had a male role model in his life, and to suddenly have a father at the age of five was an exhilarating experience for him. He became Steve's little shadow, following him around the yard, helping with the chores. If Steve was doing it, James was doing it.

But James seemed to keep Jenny at arm's length. He behaved well for her, and he would hug her at night, but it was always a quick casual hug, and he never rushed to cuddle in her lap the way he liked to do with her husband. She assumed that he still missed Barbara, since he had lived with her for over a year, and she had become a mother figure to him. So sad, Jenny thought, that such a little boy had to keep starting over again.

Last night, Jenny was tucking the younger boys into bed. She knelt at James' bedside to say prayers with him, and got her usual quickie goodnight hug. She got up to leave, and was ready to shut the bedroom door when James said, "Come back, I need another hug."

Jenny returned to his bed, knelt down to hug him, and that was when he burst her heart.

James reached up, wrapped his skinny little arms around Jenny's soft warm neck, and for the first time ever, kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you, mom."

Jenny had to stifle a gasp, he had so taken her by surprise. She did not want him to see her cry. With amazing self control, she whispered in his ear, "I love you too, James."

They rocked back and forth together for a long time, locked in a soft, wonderful, comforting hug. A geyser of joyful tears and praises to God erupted silently from deep inside of Jenny.

The Lord had just given her another son.